I didn't think I could ever hate A.J. Pierzynski more than I did...yesterday. Then, today, I saw this. Holy fuck, what a shithead.
Worse, listen to Darrin Jackson actually defend Pierzynski's actions. His flop was embarrassingly Ginobli-esque, and whoever the Rays infielder was didn't even come close to hitting/touching/breathing on him. But that's all it takes, I guess--at least according to D.J.
All it takes to get fielder's interference, a violation never called, especially during rundowns, is falling over when not touched and being a petulant fucking child all the time. Well done, A.J.; your constant douchebaggery has finally paid off.
Actually, wait...it paid off in the playoffs in '05 when you ran to first after whiffing...even though you were called out...then, you were called safe. How do you, the biggest assmouth in the league this side of Milton Bradley, get away with this shit? Come to think of it, had Milton Bradley pulled this same stunt, he'd been ejected from the game and censured by all of baseball. Ah, being white...
The only thjing Michael Barrett did wrong when he punched Pierzynski was not walking up to the booth, through all the fans, and kicking that dickface Darrin Jackson in the balls.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
A Modest Proposal
I think we should lop Soriano's face off.
So, with all due respect to that douchebag who wanted to eat babies and shit (I think I missed the point of his essay. He didn't really want to eat babies, correct?), I'm offering a proposal that would reciprocate the feeling that we, fair viewers, get when watching this clown play baseball.
I am baffled that a player with all the "tools" that Soriano has can look so fucking clueless on a daily basis. He can't play left field. He can't reach base. When the planets are aligned correctly and this shit-ass singles, he gets picked off.
The Reds series did it for me. The deciding run in that game was scored due to one of his lazy plays in left, when he let a pop up drop and roll past him--like a fucking t-baller. Obviously, his next at bat lasted approximately 8 seconds, culminating with a groundout, 6-3. It happened so fast FSN Cincy's cameras didn't even see it. Blame falls on both parties.
Watching Soriano is like seeing footage of a dog fight--you don't necessarily feel bad for the creature(s) involved, just for yourself for having to see it.
*Disclaimer* I reserve the right to enjoy the times that he hooks the ball down the left field line.
So, with all due respect to that douchebag who wanted to eat babies and shit (I think I missed the point of his essay. He didn't really want to eat babies, correct?), I'm offering a proposal that would reciprocate the feeling that we, fair viewers, get when watching this clown play baseball.
I am baffled that a player with all the "tools" that Soriano has can look so fucking clueless on a daily basis. He can't play left field. He can't reach base. When the planets are aligned correctly and this shit-ass singles, he gets picked off.
The Reds series did it for me. The deciding run in that game was scored due to one of his lazy plays in left, when he let a pop up drop and roll past him--like a fucking t-baller. Obviously, his next at bat lasted approximately 8 seconds, culminating with a groundout, 6-3. It happened so fast FSN Cincy's cameras didn't even see it. Blame falls on both parties.
Watching Soriano is like seeing footage of a dog fight--you don't necessarily feel bad for the creature(s) involved, just for yourself for having to see it.
*Disclaimer* I reserve the right to enjoy the times that he hooks the ball down the left field line.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Soo...
Are we all done updating this piece of shit? I'm changing my name, and posting more often. Follow suit, all.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Blogger Relocation
I would like to apologize for the inactivity coming from the Hoosier Gamecock camp in the past few weeks. I have been going through a move for a new job, relocating from South Carolina to Orlando, Florida. I may be forced to alter my name, so any suggestions are welcomed. Hopefully I will get back to posting in the coming days or weeks, if anyone cares.
Congrats Jed.
Congrats Jed.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
C'mon! Same Team!
Apparently, Giambi doesn't think highly of the ol' shift-a-rooski, as he's seen here giving Brian Roberts the finger. Hey assholes, don't you realize your on the same fantasy team?!?! Ibanez=Available management is not thrilled, and will handle the matter internally.
Oh, you don't know your on the same team? I guess that would explain all of the unanswered emails.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Thank You Ted Turner
I still remember that day, just over two years ago on July 25, 2006, when ESPN announced they were terminating their relationship with Baseball Tonight's Harold Reynolds after he allegedly sexually harassed anywhere from one to 100 women. (Okay, so I looked up the date on Wikipedia after having this idea for a post and it just happened to be almost two years ago exactly, but I do remember it.) It was a dark day at Audobon Parkway, where Evan and I, like most college grads, were living with his parents, drinking Eddie's High Lifes, never missing a Sunday doubleheader (Chick Inn and Captain's Quarters) and contemplating our unemployment options between jobs - selling pottery for the Sandman and mowing greens at Audobon Country Club. Centre College and our parents must have been so proud, although I vaguely remember Toots screaming at us both daily about job fairs while firing the Classifieds in our direction.
When Evan told me that ESPN had split up Harold and Krukky, the most formidable duo in baseball history, I was speechless. I screamed, he wept, we blankly stared, we drank away our sorrows, and there may have been a hug. Harold Reynolds, minus the inappropriate behavior towards women which we never condoned, was our hero, and then without warning, he was gone, never to be seen on BBTN, the College World Series (where he undoubtedly harassed Erin Andrews), or the Little League World Series again.
He surfaced on MLB.com last summer, but even for Harold I refused to pay the $14.95/month to watch the games. So that brings me to today, when I tuned into TBS for the Cubs-Marlins game and found Harold Reynolds back in the booth, for the whole nation to see. I could finally move on with my life knowing that my idol was back in the saddle. I can only hope he will keep his hands off of his female co-workers until the playoffs are over, or for at least the next week so he will be in the booth for the Yankees-Angels next Sunday. Thank you Ted Turner, thank you TBS.
Note: Reynolds may have been broadcasting these Sunday TBS games all season, but this was probably the first time I watched. Another note, Samardzija was "nasty" once again today, striking out three for a two-inning save.
When Evan told me that ESPN had split up Harold and Krukky, the most formidable duo in baseball history, I was speechless. I screamed, he wept, we blankly stared, we drank away our sorrows, and there may have been a hug. Harold Reynolds, minus the inappropriate behavior towards women which we never condoned, was our hero, and then without warning, he was gone, never to be seen on BBTN, the College World Series (where he undoubtedly harassed Erin Andrews), or the Little League World Series again.
He surfaced on MLB.com last summer, but even for Harold I refused to pay the $14.95/month to watch the games. So that brings me to today, when I tuned into TBS for the Cubs-Marlins game and found Harold Reynolds back in the booth, for the whole nation to see. I could finally move on with my life knowing that my idol was back in the saddle. I can only hope he will keep his hands off of his female co-workers until the playoffs are over, or for at least the next week so he will be in the booth for the Yankees-Angels next Sunday. Thank you Ted Turner, thank you TBS.
Note: Reynolds may have been broadcasting these Sunday TBS games all season, but this was probably the first time I watched. Another note, Samardzija was "nasty" once again today, striking out three for a two-inning save.
Friday, July 25, 2008
That's Nasty
The BBTN segment "That's Nasty" applied to many different pitchers on Friday around Major League baseball…but I would like to focus on two, one apiece from the teams I picked to appear in the Fall Classic - the Yanks' Joba Chamberlain and the Cubs' Jeff Samardzija.
The Yanks were heavily criticized for their decision to throw Chamberlain in the rotation mid-season. I think it is working. Joba still did not get any run support, but it didn't matter. Throughout his seven inning, nine strikeout performance in a 1-0 win at Fenway Park that moved the Yanks to 7-0 since the break, he made Boston hitters look bad. He has not given up more than three runs in any of his 10 starts, has 63 Ks in 54.2 innings, and has lowered his season ERA to 2.30. If not for a lack of run support, his record as a starter would be much better than 2-1. Sorry Evan, he may not have deserved the attention before, but he certainly does now.
Using extremely quick judgement after the most encouraging blown save in the history of Wrigley Field, Samardzija may be heading to a similar impact on a playoff race that Joba had last year. Yes, the former Notre Dame receiver blew the lead and tossed one of the worst pitch outs I have ever seen, but he was, like Joba, nasty. As Buster Olney pointed out on BBTN, the fact that Lou Pinella put him in the situation he did on the day he was called up points to one of two things, either Pinella has lost his mind or this kid is for real. My guess is both are true. If Samardzija has the impact I think he might and claims the position in front of Kerry Wood in the Cubs' pen, the Joba comparisons will continue, the Cubs will hold off the charging Brew Crew, and my World Series prediction is looking very good. Next year, we will look for another overanalyzed move from the pen to the rotation.
I was going to write about my observations on USA Basketball's first exhibition game and stateside sendoff tonight, but after watching the boys in red, white, and blue dismiss our Northside neighbors 120-65 (including 90-41 after the first quarter) in Vegas, I decided to stick with the phrase "What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas. To be honest, the blowout did not generate many thoughts. I am a huge fan of the Olympics, specifically USA Basketball, so rest assured you get updates, analysis, predictions and more as we approach Beijing.
A couple of quick notes:
- Jerry Colangelo did a good job putting this team together and sorry to you UK fans, but I think in picking a coach as well.
- Even without 'Bron, USA is really good, balanced, and deep. Canada is quite the opposite.
- The USA uniforms are pretty hideous, they should also Stay in Vegas.
- I think ESPN found their play-by-play guy at the Mirage after an afternoon of slots and Martinis. The guy actually said, "Kobe Bryant is too cool for school." Possibly a late reference to his decision in 1996 to skip college, but pretty bad nonetheless.
The Yanks were heavily criticized for their decision to throw Chamberlain in the rotation mid-season. I think it is working. Joba still did not get any run support, but it didn't matter. Throughout his seven inning, nine strikeout performance in a 1-0 win at Fenway Park that moved the Yanks to 7-0 since the break, he made Boston hitters look bad. He has not given up more than three runs in any of his 10 starts, has 63 Ks in 54.2 innings, and has lowered his season ERA to 2.30. If not for a lack of run support, his record as a starter would be much better than 2-1. Sorry Evan, he may not have deserved the attention before, but he certainly does now.
Using extremely quick judgement after the most encouraging blown save in the history of Wrigley Field, Samardzija may be heading to a similar impact on a playoff race that Joba had last year. Yes, the former Notre Dame receiver blew the lead and tossed one of the worst pitch outs I have ever seen, but he was, like Joba, nasty. As Buster Olney pointed out on BBTN, the fact that Lou Pinella put him in the situation he did on the day he was called up points to one of two things, either Pinella has lost his mind or this kid is for real. My guess is both are true. If Samardzija has the impact I think he might and claims the position in front of Kerry Wood in the Cubs' pen, the Joba comparisons will continue, the Cubs will hold off the charging Brew Crew, and my World Series prediction is looking very good. Next year, we will look for another overanalyzed move from the pen to the rotation.
I was going to write about my observations on USA Basketball's first exhibition game and stateside sendoff tonight, but after watching the boys in red, white, and blue dismiss our Northside neighbors 120-65 (including 90-41 after the first quarter) in Vegas, I decided to stick with the phrase "What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas. To be honest, the blowout did not generate many thoughts. I am a huge fan of the Olympics, specifically USA Basketball, so rest assured you get updates, analysis, predictions and more as we approach Beijing.
A couple of quick notes:
- Jerry Colangelo did a good job putting this team together and sorry to you UK fans, but I think in picking a coach as well.
- Even without 'Bron, USA is really good, balanced, and deep. Canada is quite the opposite.
- The USA uniforms are pretty hideous, they should also Stay in Vegas.
- I think ESPN found their play-by-play guy at the Mirage after an afternoon of slots and Martinis. The guy actually said, "Kobe Bryant is too cool for school." Possibly a late reference to his decision in 1996 to skip college, but pretty bad nonetheless.
Fatlanta Phalcons
The Good: Uhhhhh. . .Ummmmm. . .Oh, I got it, these two dick wads are no longer affiliated with this franchise.
To be fair, I know that in the big picture what dick wad #1 did was no where near as bad as what dick wad #2 did, but the funny thing is if you listened to interviews with the other players on the team at the end of last year, though they condemned Vick's actions, they would not indict his character. Petrino on the other hand. Can you imagine, forever being associated with a herpes spreading, bad alias using, drug smuggling (the water bottle incident), dog fighting, scum bag all because you are such a pussy that you can't even fulfil your obligations to people who take a chance and put their faith in you for one year? But I digress, the point is, beyond these two no longer being a distraction, there's nothing good to say about the Falcons this year.
The Bad: Everything else. When I look at their roster I feel like they guy in Major League when he's handed a list of guys the Indians will be inviting to camp: I've never heard of half of these guys, and the ones I do know are way past their prime. . .I don't even know where to begin with this, so I'll start with the defense which finished in the bottom four in the league last year in the following: sacks, yards allowed, points, and touchdowns. The best part of all this is that they lost their best defensive player (DeAngelo Hall) so look for them to fall to the bottom four in takeaways this year as well. The other side of the ball doesn't look a whole lot better. Yeah, they got their guy when Matt Ryan fell to them (more on that in a minute) but he won't be ready to go at the start of the season which leaves them with Chris Redman. Redman was quite mediocre last year, which was a stunning improvement over his performances prior to that. They did bring in Michael Turner from LaDainian Tomlinson's shadow, but he won't have anywhere to run behind that line. Much like on defense they let their best offensive player (Alge Crumpler), from a shitty offense to begin with, go. As for the receivers, Roddy White showed flashes of talent last year, but. . .you know what, I don't want to talk about this anymore, it's making me sick.
The Fuck Were You Thinking???: Listen, I like Arthur Blank, I really do. He's a fantastic business man, and seems to be one of the genuinely nice guys in The League from everything I've heard about him. Oh yeah, and he has a sweet mustache. That said, it seems that this guy doesn't have the first fucking clue about football, and every one of his "business instincts" that took him to the top have mired him deeper in shit in the NFL. First, he built his franchise around Michael Vick. I guess that seemed like a good idea at the time, but eventually you have to open your fucking eyes! It became pretty clear a few years back that this guy had major character issues, and with all the shit swirling around something was going to stick. Next was Petrino, again, it probably seemed like a good move at the time, but it would probably only take about 15 minutes of research to realize that this clown has no integrity. . .or personality. Then to replace him, he brings in a guy in Mike Smith who has never had a head coaching job, at any level. Not really a recipe for success. Oh, and then in the draft they took a quarterback who'll never be anything more than a very average pro. He was probably the best of this class coming out of college, but that's like being the tallest midget. Think Alex Smith a few years back. Who didn't see that coming? What he should have done is addressed any other position this year (they all needed it) with a pick like Glenn Dorsey, and addressed quarterback next year. . .with Tim Tebow and the first overall pick.
2008 Outlook: I don't see a game on their schedule that I feel confident that they will win. They will be the worst team in the league this year, and the only reason I'm giving them 3 wins is because what Miami did last year will be very tough to duplicate.
Record: 3-13
Division: 4th
Playoffs: Bitch Please
Tomorrow: The Baltimore Ravens
To be fair, I know that in the big picture what dick wad #1 did was no where near as bad as what dick wad #2 did, but the funny thing is if you listened to interviews with the other players on the team at the end of last year, though they condemned Vick's actions, they would not indict his character. Petrino on the other hand. Can you imagine, forever being associated with a herpes spreading, bad alias using, drug smuggling (the water bottle incident), dog fighting, scum bag all because you are such a pussy that you can't even fulfil your obligations to people who take a chance and put their faith in you for one year? But I digress, the point is, beyond these two no longer being a distraction, there's nothing good to say about the Falcons this year.
The Bad: Everything else. When I look at their roster I feel like they guy in Major League when he's handed a list of guys the Indians will be inviting to camp: I've never heard of half of these guys, and the ones I do know are way past their prime. . .I don't even know where to begin with this, so I'll start with the defense which finished in the bottom four in the league last year in the following: sacks, yards allowed, points, and touchdowns. The best part of all this is that they lost their best defensive player (DeAngelo Hall) so look for them to fall to the bottom four in takeaways this year as well. The other side of the ball doesn't look a whole lot better. Yeah, they got their guy when Matt Ryan fell to them (more on that in a minute) but he won't be ready to go at the start of the season which leaves them with Chris Redman. Redman was quite mediocre last year, which was a stunning improvement over his performances prior to that. They did bring in Michael Turner from LaDainian Tomlinson's shadow, but he won't have anywhere to run behind that line. Much like on defense they let their best offensive player (Alge Crumpler), from a shitty offense to begin with, go. As for the receivers, Roddy White showed flashes of talent last year, but. . .you know what, I don't want to talk about this anymore, it's making me sick.
The Fuck Were You Thinking???: Listen, I like Arthur Blank, I really do. He's a fantastic business man, and seems to be one of the genuinely nice guys in The League from everything I've heard about him. Oh yeah, and he has a sweet mustache. That said, it seems that this guy doesn't have the first fucking clue about football, and every one of his "business instincts" that took him to the top have mired him deeper in shit in the NFL. First, he built his franchise around Michael Vick. I guess that seemed like a good idea at the time, but eventually you have to open your fucking eyes! It became pretty clear a few years back that this guy had major character issues, and with all the shit swirling around something was going to stick. Next was Petrino, again, it probably seemed like a good move at the time, but it would probably only take about 15 minutes of research to realize that this clown has no integrity. . .or personality. Then to replace him, he brings in a guy in Mike Smith who has never had a head coaching job, at any level. Not really a recipe for success. Oh, and then in the draft they took a quarterback who'll never be anything more than a very average pro. He was probably the best of this class coming out of college, but that's like being the tallest midget. Think Alex Smith a few years back. Who didn't see that coming? What he should have done is addressed any other position this year (they all needed it) with a pick like Glenn Dorsey, and addressed quarterback next year. . .with Tim Tebow and the first overall pick.
2008 Outlook: I don't see a game on their schedule that I feel confident that they will win. They will be the worst team in the league this year, and the only reason I'm giving them 3 wins is because what Miami did last year will be very tough to duplicate.
Record: 3-13
Division: 4th
Playoffs: Bitch Please
Tomorrow: The Baltimore Ravens
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Just What Everyone Wanted: Another Ass Hole Spewing About The NFL
Since Evan has been busy with other things and not blogging here regularly, he agreed to allow me to give my takes and be his NFL Correspondent- I'd like to thank him for that. I'd also like to thank "Hoosier Gamecock" for his nice piece to set me up, although I think it was inadvertent (yep, I said I'd like to thank him for his nice piece, and I'll stand by that.)
So, allow me first to introduce myself: I am the Armchair Long Snapper and I will be posting about The NFL, and only The NFL. No world events, no baseball or basketball, not even college football, just The NFL. And like some blog sites (although not really this one) I will have a format so that my loyal readers know when to check back for their favorite Armchair Long Snapper piece. I'll do my best while writing this to keep it light and not get all up my own ass.
Thursday- you can read my fantasy takes (both review and preview). I am aware that no one in the world likes reading about how close someones fantasy team came to winning this past week, so I'll keep it generalized. But know that in the past 4 years I have won about $3600 in fantasy football money, which makes me awesome.
Saturday- you will get my picks for the upcoming weekend.
Tuesday- I'll review the previous week's action.
In the meantime I'll be posting a team by team preview everyday- they won't be about camp battles and shit that we've all read 1,000 times this month already, I'll try to keep it interesting. So, starting alphabetically, we begin with:
Arizona Cardinals
The Good: You knew it wouldn't take Ken Whisenhunt long to get things going in the right direction. This team has some nice talent. Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald form probably the most formidable receiver tandem west of Indianapolis, and though they lost the talented but oft-injured Bryant Johnson, they replaced him in the draft with Early Doucet. Furthermore, they bolstered their line prior to last season and discovered that running the ball occasionally is an acceptable substitute to flinging it all over the field. On defense Antrel Rolle and Adrian Wilson roaming the secondary should setup plenty of short fields for the offense. Plus, the NFC West is pretty wide-open, and getting to play San Fran and the Rams twice should help their chances.
The Bad: Rumor has it Edgerrin James traded in that gold grill for a nice set of dentures. 300+ carries in each of the last 5 seasons has aged him beyond his years. Should he get hurt? Don't ask. Marcel Shipp and J.J. Arrington are. . .they are. . .well, they're shitty. Seriously. Also, yeah their secondary is pretty tough, but there are huge question marks on the D-line and at linebacker, which makes the entire defense fairly suspect overall.
And The Fairly Douchy: Matt Leinart. Listen, I have no problem with this guy slaying every bit of pussy in the Pacific Time Zone. Who wouldn't be doing that? But this clown needs to chillax on the celebrity shit until he's actually accomplished something. . .anything. Yeah I know, he won a Heisman and a National Championship, but I'm talking about the pros here, and he's been a shitty pro to date. When you're supposed to be rehabbing your injured knee and your backup is playing better than you ever have, the only hot tub you need to be in is in the training room and if you can convince the trainers to bring you a beer bong and a couple of skanks in there, well more power to you- that would probably silence the bitching. Think of NFL fame as the Burger King Steakhouse Burger: Tom Brady has discovered a planet and therefore can eat the burger, Leinart. . .helped.
2008 Outlook: This team just reeks of mediocrity, and outside of the aforementioned weak division they reside in, their schedule is pretty damn tough, featuring both of last year's Super Bowl teams as well as the Cowboys.
Record: 7-9
Division: 2nd
Playoffs: Nope
Sorry it was so long, but I hope it was a somewhat enjoyable read. Tomorrow: Atlanta.
So, allow me first to introduce myself: I am the Armchair Long Snapper and I will be posting about The NFL, and only The NFL. No world events, no baseball or basketball, not even college football, just The NFL. And like some blog sites (although not really this one) I will have a format so that my loyal readers know when to check back for their favorite Armchair Long Snapper piece. I'll do my best while writing this to keep it light and not get all up my own ass.
Thursday- you can read my fantasy takes (both review and preview). I am aware that no one in the world likes reading about how close someones fantasy team came to winning this past week, so I'll keep it generalized. But know that in the past 4 years I have won about $3600 in fantasy football money, which makes me awesome.
Saturday- you will get my picks for the upcoming weekend.
Tuesday- I'll review the previous week's action.
In the meantime I'll be posting a team by team preview everyday- they won't be about camp battles and shit that we've all read 1,000 times this month already, I'll try to keep it interesting. So, starting alphabetically, we begin with:
Arizona Cardinals
The Good: You knew it wouldn't take Ken Whisenhunt long to get things going in the right direction. This team has some nice talent. Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald form probably the most formidable receiver tandem west of Indianapolis, and though they lost the talented but oft-injured Bryant Johnson, they replaced him in the draft with Early Doucet. Furthermore, they bolstered their line prior to last season and discovered that running the ball occasionally is an acceptable substitute to flinging it all over the field. On defense Antrel Rolle and Adrian Wilson roaming the secondary should setup plenty of short fields for the offense. Plus, the NFC West is pretty wide-open, and getting to play San Fran and the Rams twice should help their chances.
The Bad: Rumor has it Edgerrin James traded in that gold grill for a nice set of dentures. 300+ carries in each of the last 5 seasons has aged him beyond his years. Should he get hurt? Don't ask. Marcel Shipp and J.J. Arrington are. . .they are. . .well, they're shitty. Seriously. Also, yeah their secondary is pretty tough, but there are huge question marks on the D-line and at linebacker, which makes the entire defense fairly suspect overall.
And The Fairly Douchy: Matt Leinart. Listen, I have no problem with this guy slaying every bit of pussy in the Pacific Time Zone. Who wouldn't be doing that? But this clown needs to chillax on the celebrity shit until he's actually accomplished something. . .anything. Yeah I know, he won a Heisman and a National Championship, but I'm talking about the pros here, and he's been a shitty pro to date. When you're supposed to be rehabbing your injured knee and your backup is playing better than you ever have, the only hot tub you need to be in is in the training room and if you can convince the trainers to bring you a beer bong and a couple of skanks in there, well more power to you- that would probably silence the bitching. Think of NFL fame as the Burger King Steakhouse Burger: Tom Brady has discovered a planet and therefore can eat the burger, Leinart. . .helped.
2008 Outlook: This team just reeks of mediocrity, and outside of the aforementioned weak division they reside in, their schedule is pretty damn tough, featuring both of last year's Super Bowl teams as well as the Cowboys.
Record: 7-9
Division: 2nd
Playoffs: Nope
Sorry it was so long, but I hope it was a somewhat enjoyable read. Tomorrow: Atlanta.
Right on!
Good work bitching about the NFL, HG, as a new NFL writer will be added to the fold here at the blog! The NFL sucks and is boring (outside of my fantasy team), so this new blogger will provide needed insight to a sport that millions of Americans adore. And no, it's not Peter King.
Also, this doesn't mean that I won't constantly bitch about the droves of Colts fans at IU in the fall, especially those who then morph back to IU fans again in late November. Can't blame 'em; IU"s football team sucks ass.
Also, this doesn't mean that I won't constantly bitch about the droves of Colts fans at IU in the fall, especially those who then morph back to IU fans again in late November. Can't blame 'em; IU"s football team sucks ass.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Do I really have to care?
Okay, I get it, July is a slow sports month and there is not much going. It is the middle of the baseball season before the playoff races really get started, Tiger Woods has stopped playing golf, and college football practices haven’t started. I also understand the NFL has taken over the sports industry. As ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd says, “There are two sports seasons, football season and waiting for football season.” I like the NFL, I follow a couple of teams fairly religiously, I had three fantasy football teams, and my Sundays revolve around wings, the beer special, and the NFL.
But really, tell me again why I am supposed to care where a now past his prime 38-year old turnover machine may or may not play next season? Why can I not turn on any of the ESPN stations without hearing about Brett Favre? I am not even going to get into what the Packers should do, whether his overly inflated, flip-flopping ego is hurt because Green Bay doesn’t want him back, what other teams would or would not want him, how this effects his legacy, whether we should feel sorry for Aaron Rodgers, and on and on and on. I do not care, and I do not know why ESPN and numerous other sports media outlets keep telling me I am supposed to.
Maybe I am missing something, maybe everyone else is right, and maybe I should care. So I decided to do some research. Yes, Brett Favre is a first ballot Hall of Famer, he has broken numerous NFL career passing records, has won three MVP awards, and has a Super Bowl ring. According to my research, he was really good in the mid to late 90s, but that doesn’t tell me why I should care in 2008.
So, I looked at the most recent three-year period to see how this “icon” compares to his peers in the NFL. The answer, not very well.
In the past three years, eight quarterbacks (Favre, Peyton, Brady, Brees, Palmer, Roethlisberger, Hasselbeck, and Eli) have averaged at least 14 regular season games played. In those three seasons, the other seven QBs, with Eli Manning’s plus-seven included, have an average turnover margin of +36. During that span, Favre’s turnover margin is -6. That is a 42 turnover difference if you are scoring at home. I have never played or coached football, but turnover margin and ball possession are important, right?
Some other important stats I have heard about are QB rating and completion percentage. Again, including Eli’s 75.6, the other seven have an average QB rating of 91.8. Brett Favre has a QB rating of 79.8, ahead of only Eli and almost a full 10 points behind sixth place on the list, Hasselbeck’s 88.5. Let’s try completion percentage. Again, only Eli’s is worse.
So does that mean that Brett Favre is the seventh best QB in the NFL today? I think not. It's debatable that he is better than Eli (who just won a Super Bowl). There are also several other QBs, who did not qualify for the above based on my arbitrary requirements, who have performed better in recent years than Favre. Injuries have limited Donovan McNabb, Marc Bulger, Jake Delhomme, and Kurt Warner to 10-12 games per year over the last three, but their numbers are better than Favre’s. Tony Romo (by far) and Phillip Rivers (by a good amount) have outplayed Favre while starting most of their team’s games in the past two seasons.
In the 90s, Brett Favre was the man. In 2008, he is a mediocre gunslinger who can’t give it up. Could he help some teams? Sure, anyone is an improvement over Alex Smith, Kyle Boller, whoever the Falcons run out there, and of course, Rex Grossman. But am I really supposed to care THIS MUCH? If I care about Favre, I think ESPN Classic is the only place I should be able to find him.
But really, tell me again why I am supposed to care where a now past his prime 38-year old turnover machine may or may not play next season? Why can I not turn on any of the ESPN stations without hearing about Brett Favre? I am not even going to get into what the Packers should do, whether his overly inflated, flip-flopping ego is hurt because Green Bay doesn’t want him back, what other teams would or would not want him, how this effects his legacy, whether we should feel sorry for Aaron Rodgers, and on and on and on. I do not care, and I do not know why ESPN and numerous other sports media outlets keep telling me I am supposed to.
Maybe I am missing something, maybe everyone else is right, and maybe I should care. So I decided to do some research. Yes, Brett Favre is a first ballot Hall of Famer, he has broken numerous NFL career passing records, has won three MVP awards, and has a Super Bowl ring. According to my research, he was really good in the mid to late 90s, but that doesn’t tell me why I should care in 2008.
So, I looked at the most recent three-year period to see how this “icon” compares to his peers in the NFL. The answer, not very well.
In the past three years, eight quarterbacks (Favre, Peyton, Brady, Brees, Palmer, Roethlisberger, Hasselbeck, and Eli) have averaged at least 14 regular season games played. In those three seasons, the other seven QBs, with Eli Manning’s plus-seven included, have an average turnover margin of +36. During that span, Favre’s turnover margin is -6. That is a 42 turnover difference if you are scoring at home. I have never played or coached football, but turnover margin and ball possession are important, right?
Some other important stats I have heard about are QB rating and completion percentage. Again, including Eli’s 75.6, the other seven have an average QB rating of 91.8. Brett Favre has a QB rating of 79.8, ahead of only Eli and almost a full 10 points behind sixth place on the list, Hasselbeck’s 88.5. Let’s try completion percentage. Again, only Eli’s is worse.
So does that mean that Brett Favre is the seventh best QB in the NFL today? I think not. It's debatable that he is better than Eli (who just won a Super Bowl). There are also several other QBs, who did not qualify for the above based on my arbitrary requirements, who have performed better in recent years than Favre. Injuries have limited Donovan McNabb, Marc Bulger, Jake Delhomme, and Kurt Warner to 10-12 games per year over the last three, but their numbers are better than Favre’s. Tony Romo (by far) and Phillip Rivers (by a good amount) have outplayed Favre while starting most of their team’s games in the past two seasons.
In the 90s, Brett Favre was the man. In 2008, he is a mediocre gunslinger who can’t give it up. Could he help some teams? Sure, anyone is an improvement over Alex Smith, Kyle Boller, whoever the Falcons run out there, and of course, Rex Grossman. But am I really supposed to care THIS MUCH? If I care about Favre, I think ESPN Classic is the only place I should be able to find him.
Peoples Done Lost they Mind
I went to a swim meet yesterday for work. It doesn't matter where. It was outdoors, so I guess you can rule out Greenland. I made some observations, most of them centered around a binding thesis.
People. Are. Fucking. Insane.
23 teams. 23 goddamn teams. Obviously, that means that each event will have more than one heat. However, do we have to watch the heat that has only two teams? It's agonizing. The meet was a two team race from the beginning (one team has won the last 20 in a row!), and I must admit there at the end, I was pretty excited. The margin was extraordinarily slim. Anyway, the two teams in the pool for a relay is absurd. Invariably, one team is made up of Mark Spitz' kids and a shark, while the other team is three fat kids and a rock. One time, the margin was a full minute. That means, there was cheering, the cheers died, and then everyone realized the rock was still swimming (says something when an inanimate object is your anchor), so they had to commence the awkward cheer. Ew.
This next one isn't necessarily particular to swimming, but I saw it a lot last night from one dude. You know when guy's act all gay and then start touching up on chicks? Does it freak anyone else out?
"Who, Raef? Oh, Lord, he's gayer than a picnic basket! Don't worry about Raef."
People. Are. Fucking. Insane.
23 teams. 23 goddamn teams. Obviously, that means that each event will have more than one heat. However, do we have to watch the heat that has only two teams? It's agonizing. The meet was a two team race from the beginning (one team has won the last 20 in a row!), and I must admit there at the end, I was pretty excited. The margin was extraordinarily slim. Anyway, the two teams in the pool for a relay is absurd. Invariably, one team is made up of Mark Spitz' kids and a shark, while the other team is three fat kids and a rock. One time, the margin was a full minute. That means, there was cheering, the cheers died, and then everyone realized the rock was still swimming (says something when an inanimate object is your anchor), so they had to commence the awkward cheer. Ew.
This next one isn't necessarily particular to swimming, but I saw it a lot last night from one dude. You know when guy's act all gay and then start touching up on chicks? Does it freak anyone else out?
"Who, Raef? Oh, Lord, he's gayer than a picnic basket! Don't worry about Raef."
We get it. As if the visor, frosted tips, and crocs weren't already a dead give-away, you molesting the mid-section of my nine year old daughter was. Being gay doesn't make you less of a pederast, you creep.
The coaches at this fucking thing. Good Lord. I actually saw this at Shuey's swim meet at CC, but last night it was rampant. You know what swim coaches do at meets? Yell go. They yell it as loud and as often as possible, usually while gyrating toward the finishing wall. Goooo. Go! GO!!! As far as I could tell, the swimmers already knew this was a race. But, maybe not.
Speedos. Sick.
Annnnd the parents. As I indicated earlier, the same team has won the last twenty years. That's pretty good. Like, a high school could never do that, right? Anyway, before I lay into the parents, I want to say that if I walked in and none of the kids had those retarded swim caps on, I could tell you the winner. 22 teams were full of assholes and dick-faces. One team was not. They won. I don't have a major problem with the assholes and dick-faces, because, hey, they just want to have fun. However, the fucklords who spawned these kids freak the fuck out about the good team.
"Of course they win, all the good kids go there."
"I know I saw them fault at least twice."
"Well, their neighborhood's the biggest."
It went on. Don't these parents realize that a) their kid gives no shit, and b) it embarrasses the fuck out of their kid when they flip out over a foot fault in the 8-9 girls 200 meter relay (which lasted approximately 12 hours)? One woman, who stood right behind me, attempted to get a "Coo-per, Coo-per" chant started. Cooper, I presume, is her child. There are parents and kids from 22 other teams. To think that they will join you in the "Cooper" chant is batshit fucking insane.
Parents are insane.
The end.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Oh, Hi There
Hey, it's a blog. I bet someone should be updating this.
HG isn't really holding up his end of the bargain. That being, of course, posting. I have absolutely nothing to talk to you about. I'm sorry. I'm really thinking hard...
Oh well. I'm sure someone will do something stupid soon. Here are some funny videos!
HG isn't really holding up his end of the bargain. That being, of course, posting. I have absolutely nothing to talk to you about. I'm sorry. I'm really thinking hard...
Oh well. I'm sure someone will do something stupid soon. Here are some funny videos!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Train, you may need to dot your tears with a homer hanky
I've spoken a bit about the sports talk radion guys here in SC. They suck balls. Namely, this guy.
His name is Bobby Hartin, and he's a total shithead. Anyway, today there was some babbling about the hall of famers at last night's all-star game. There were mentions of who was and wasn't at the game. It was inane and fucking terribly boring. Until this took place (almost verbatim):
Hartin: Well, what about Kirby Puckett? Where was he?
Sidekick (awkwardly): Kirby Puckett?
Hartin: Oh no. He's in JAIL ain't he?
Sidekick: I, um, think he may be dead.
...
Hartin: Jo-, um, what about Johnny Bench? Was he there?
Yes, Bobby. I suppose, since Puckett was an African-American, that if he isn't somewhere you think he should have been, then he has to be in jail. Unfortunately, he's already been killed by a bunch of gang-bangers when he was buying crack.
Right Bobby, you dumb fucking hick?
His name is Bobby Hartin, and he's a total shithead. Anyway, today there was some babbling about the hall of famers at last night's all-star game. There were mentions of who was and wasn't at the game. It was inane and fucking terribly boring. Until this took place (almost verbatim):
Hartin: Well, what about Kirby Puckett? Where was he?
Sidekick (awkwardly): Kirby Puckett?
Hartin: Oh no. He's in JAIL ain't he?
Sidekick: I, um, think he may be dead.
...
Hartin: Jo-, um, what about Johnny Bench? Was he there?
Yes, Bobby. I suppose, since Puckett was an African-American, that if he isn't somewhere you think he should have been, then he has to be in jail. Unfortunately, he's already been killed by a bunch of gang-bangers when he was buying crack.
Right Bobby, you dumb fucking hick?
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